Denial About Divorce

What to Do When Your Spouse is in Denial About Divorce?

When you understand that your marriage has failed and you wish to change your life for the better, it seems that it is only filing for a cheap divorce in Arizona that separates you from happiness. But in many cases, there are more hurdles on your way to marriage termination than just the paperwork. It covers the situations when your partner is reluctant or in denial about your divorce. Then you have to apply certain strategies to your behavior, relationships, and legal steps, all in combination to optimize the process and get desired divorce results in the end.

Review the experts’ tips and strategies to get your case moving even if your partner doesn’t recognize the fact of your upcoming divorce. Adjust the advice to your situation and beneficially finalize your marriage without complications. 

Understand Denial 

If you suffer because your wife or husband is in denial about divorce, your primary task is to understand how your partner feels about the upcoming marital changes. Here are the variants of how your spouse may take your desire to put an end to your relationship:

  • No serious approach – your spouse may treat your announcements about divorce as threats, complaints, or impulsive claims, but not any serious intentions. 
  • The second stage – even if your partner understands what you mean, they may be going through the five stages of overcoming the divorce. After the grief over the lost marriage, your partner may be stuck in the second stage, denial, with pretending that nothing is wrong with your relationship. 
  • ‘Freeze’ mode – with all the shock and devastation the marriage termination news brings, your spouse may hide all feelings and emotions deep inside and slip into a ‘freeze’ mode showing no reaction and realization to things happening around. 

As soon as you try to understand how your spouse feels, and add compassion and respect to your communication, there is a possibility you can break the wall of denial and end with mutually beneficial results. 

Talk to Your Spouse

Communication is the only key for you to reach your partner and get them out of the state of denial. Yet, you should be careful with the approach and words you choose so that you don’t get the situation more complicated in the outcomes.

The key tools for you to succeed with proactive communication are:

  • compassion
  • respect
  • firmness
  • choice.

You have to gather all your powers and patience to tolerate your partner. You may have decided to divorce a long time ago and had enough possibilities to digest your marriage failure. But your spouse has no such opportunity. So, you have to be compassionate and support them in their realization of your relationships going to the end. You need to respect your partner’s feelings and emotions even if they are different than your attitude to the situation. In addition, you should show firmness about your own decisions but give your spouse freedom of choice as to your marital issues. Consider that when having any discussions with your partner so that they result in positive outcomes and progress only.

Behave Confidently

Another must-do for you is to behave confidently about your relationship decision and prove your choice both with your words and actions. Otherwise, you may give false hope and expectations to your spouse and make things more complicated. Never follow the temptation to have any relationships relapse, organize farewell dates or intimacy. 

Even if you feel guilty for deciding to end your marriage, don’t let your partner treat it as another chance for your relationship to survive. If you have made the decision to get a divorce, stick to your choice and back it up with words occasionally. Do this not to bring extra pain to your partner but to prove your position and progress with your relationships in the chosen direction.

Take Legal Actions

If you cannot wait for your spouse to realize that your marriage is irretrievably broken or you have already waited too much, it may be the right time to take legal action. Then you can choose between separation and divorce.

Separation has fewer requirements to meet and doesn’t need the confirmation of both spouses. But you can move apart and prove the seriousness of your choice by starting a separate life already. Plus, you can begin a financially independent life which will be helpful when it comes to divorce itself.

Divorce can also be an option even if your partner gives no agreement or doesn’t respond at all. Then you may have to wait for a little to give your spouse a chance to participate. And even having no cooperation from their side, you can move on with the default procedure and finalize your marriage eventually.

Cooperate with Professionals

No matter whether you choose divorce without delay or aim to communicate and cooperate with your spouse before bringing your relationships to the end, it will be easier if you reach the relevant experts first. A family counselor or couple therapist will help you get to your partner and have a fruitful conversation with your partner about your marital troubles. Meanwhile, a family law attorney will be helpful with the best legal choices and manage the best suitable process without any hassle. 


Getting divorced with a spouse in denial may be a physically and mentally complicated process. To handle the situation beneficially and peacefully, you should put in decent time and effort. Aim to understand your partner’s position and feelings, participate in compassionate and proactive communication, progress with your relationships in the chosen direction, take legal action when necessary, and cooperate with the relevant experts to optimize the process.

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